Fro-Man: -“This sucks! I’d rather be countin pills for people’s grandmas!”
-“You see that bathroom homie?! Super luxurious! No taggin… all clean… real mirrors; no metal pan to try and find yo reflection in… and a tree! Who has a tree in they bathroom?!”
-“Man… I need to do some homework (not at home of coarse)… but I can’t work in this thing (speaking of theatre chair w/ desk-top attached)! What the heck is this?! It’s not a chair… or a desk… It’s a freakin chesk!”
6’7 sophmore (not kidding): -“Coach L, let’s play hide-and-go-seek!”
Me: Seriously… you’re 6’7 and you’re wearin a bright yellow t-shirt! Where you gonna hide?!
-“Coach L, I need to go to the bathroom (walk around campus).
Me: No.
“Fine… I need to go to the nurse (get suspened for God knows what)
Me: Why?
“My foot hurts!”
Me: Sorry man, I don’t think they do much for your Face…
“I said my foot coach!”
Me: Oh, my bad…
3 years ago
Beginning of practice:
Me: Alright, everybody on the track! Let’s go!…. Anthony! Get on the track! You see everybody else on it right? Do you really not have your shoes on still?! You’re killin me!
Athlete: It’s all good Coach L… I know you just jealous of my socks!
Me: You’re socks? I could care less about your socks! Just put your shoes on so we can practice! (as she veeeerrry slowly puts on her shoes just to increase tension… it works).
Athlete: Yeah yeah…
Beginning of actual work out:
Me: Alright everybody, we’ve got 400’s- let’s go!
Athlete:… no shoes on…. talking… giggling… increasing my irritation beyond healthy levels
Me: Anthony (last name)! Put your freakin shoes on before I break something!
Athlete: Oh yeah? What ya gonna break?
Me: You’re face if you don’t hurry up! (empty threat I promise…)
Athlete: Tell ya what coach… I know you’re just jealous of my socks… so I’m gonna get you a pair as a goin away present so you’ll never forget me!
Me: Jealous… are you serious? Just get on the track!
Athlete: Here’s the deal… if I make it to CIF… you have to wear the socks I get you.
Me: Fine! Just start running!
Athlete: Ok! But pinky promise first! And stamp it!
Me: I pinky promised… and stamped it… now the regret brought on by impatience and frustration will commence:
3 years ago
Day 1:
Coco: What up Coach L?! How you be?
Me: I’m good Coco, how you be?
Coco: I’m good! bout to get some work done in here! Uh huh!
Day 2:
Me: Hey Coco, how are ya?
Coco: Was I talkin to you Coach L?! I didn’t think so! Why you questionin me?!
Me: Coco… I just asked how you’re doin… not tryin to upset ya or anything. Just go ahead and sit down and we’ll be good.
Coco: Ah heck nah! I know you aint yellin at me! Always gettin loud at me! I hate you Coach L!
Me: ?
Day 3:
Me (with great aprehension): Hey Coco… how’s it goin?
Coco: What up Coach L?! You good?!
Me: Yeah… I’m good… how bout you?
Coco: Shoot! I’m real good!
Me: Oh… ok… awesome… ?
3 years ago
Athlete #1: Coach L… you real good at prayin man… you should be a pasta or somthin!
Me: Oh, thanks man- I appritiate it… but I think I’ll stick to coachin and teachin.
Athlete #2: Oh yeah, ya’ll didn’t know bout Coach L when he goes all ‘church’ huh?
Athlete #3: Shoot coach, we gonna call you Pasta L from now on!
Athlete #4: Yeah! Then you could start rappin and then we’d call you Pasta ill!
Athlete #’s 1-4: Oh heck yeah! Pasta ill fo sho!!!
-These young MEN pictured below:
3 years ago
